Life is like a stroll in the garden. There is there obvious path, then the paths that split in two and you have to choose which side you’ll go. There’s the flowers and there’s fruit, but there’s also the stems with the thorns. It’s a garden so it’s beautiful as long as you take care of it. Someone can walk in your garden and they can find the beauty and they can see the dead and ruined. My garden is beautiful it is taken care of. It looks beautiful to people on the outside, then they look around and they think it’s perfect. The longer they stay and the more they look around, the more they’ll find out. They will see the trashed and the deserted flower beds and the broken and the lonely roses. They will know that this garden is not perfect, depending on the person they will decide if it’s beautiful. They will decide if they want to stay and nurture for it, to see the fun and happy and to comfort the lonely and sad.
I grew up into a caring family and a friendly society. I had always been a social girl, always the first to introduce myself. I was in the top classes and was on the best teams. I was always given more than enough. As I got older I was meeting more people and staying in the hardest classes, and of course of the best teams. At one point I couldn’t keep up with the drama, I was falling behind in my classes and I was being mentally tortured in the sport I used to love. I started quieting down with my friends. Always thinking about what I had but how much I hated it,because it caused me too much stress and it was making me unhappy. The things I once loved had been taken away from me.
Then I met a friend and he had come from a very difficult past. His childhood was ruined because his dad had beat him and his family then he left them. He had nobody; no friends, no family, he wasn’t given the home a child should have. He had nothing but the life he was left with. He pulled me aside one day and told me that everything I had was given to me for a reason, I needed to stay strong and fight through it. He supported me in every decision I made and was always there to cheer me up. As a young child I “fell in love” with him, he was a great friend and I really liked him. Then one day all my friends were quiet. Nobody talked to each other and I had no idea why. Later that day I had found out that he told one of my friends he didn’t like me because I was “too depressed”. At first I didn’t know what to do, obviously I was sad but I was so confused. The person who had convinced me that life got better left me. He told me all of these inspirational stories and phrases that lead me nowhere.
Even today I still struggle with depression and anxiety. I go to therapy and I have a better understanding of what I’m going through. Along this walk through my garden I find out more about myself. I am now better at understanding people in their emotional state of mind, I can read someone very easily and see what type of person they are. I accept people for who they are and I am a very understanding person. I learned to have patience with people and really listen to what they have to say. I was once a bully, a serious physical and verbal bully. I was rude, I would hurt people if they didn’t do what I wanted and it got people “on my side”. Then I eventually grew out of it and realized that people will like you if you are nice to them and I felt really bad being rude to people so I changed. I’ve never been the type to care about what other people think about me. Everyone knew that about me because I made it known, I was obnoxious. Deep inside I knew that the only reason I made it known was so that nobody ever said anything to me. The reason for my anxiety now is that I think someone is always thinking about my flaws and at any moment they might point them out.
That’s what I makes me the way I am. I am just a girl who is taking one step at a time in her garden watching as people come in and out, waiting for someone to stay and see the ruined and still think that it’s perfect. I am alone with many people around me. I am outgoing with many fears that could stop me. I am scared but with lots of courage inside of me. I am determined to find the life I deserve and I am willing to work my way through my garden. I will keep planting and keep nurturing the garden I live in to make it my own perfection.
I grew up into a caring family and a friendly society. I had always been a social girl, always the first to introduce myself. I was in the top classes and was on the best teams. I was always given more than enough. As I got older I was meeting more people and staying in the hardest classes, and of course of the best teams. At one point I couldn’t keep up with the drama, I was falling behind in my classes and I was being mentally tortured in the sport I used to love. I started quieting down with my friends. Always thinking about what I had but how much I hated it,because it caused me too much stress and it was making me unhappy. The things I once loved had been taken away from me.
Then I met a friend and he had come from a very difficult past. His childhood was ruined because his dad had beat him and his family then he left them. He had nobody; no friends, no family, he wasn’t given the home a child should have. He had nothing but the life he was left with. He pulled me aside one day and told me that everything I had was given to me for a reason, I needed to stay strong and fight through it. He supported me in every decision I made and was always there to cheer me up. As a young child I “fell in love” with him, he was a great friend and I really liked him. Then one day all my friends were quiet. Nobody talked to each other and I had no idea why. Later that day I had found out that he told one of my friends he didn’t like me because I was “too depressed”. At first I didn’t know what to do, obviously I was sad but I was so confused. The person who had convinced me that life got better left me. He told me all of these inspirational stories and phrases that lead me nowhere.
Even today I still struggle with depression and anxiety. I go to therapy and I have a better understanding of what I’m going through. Along this walk through my garden I find out more about myself. I am now better at understanding people in their emotional state of mind, I can read someone very easily and see what type of person they are. I accept people for who they are and I am a very understanding person. I learned to have patience with people and really listen to what they have to say. I was once a bully, a serious physical and verbal bully. I was rude, I would hurt people if they didn’t do what I wanted and it got people “on my side”. Then I eventually grew out of it and realized that people will like you if you are nice to them and I felt really bad being rude to people so I changed. I’ve never been the type to care about what other people think about me. Everyone knew that about me because I made it known, I was obnoxious. Deep inside I knew that the only reason I made it known was so that nobody ever said anything to me. The reason for my anxiety now is that I think someone is always thinking about my flaws and at any moment they might point them out.
That’s what I makes me the way I am. I am just a girl who is taking one step at a time in her garden watching as people come in and out, waiting for someone to stay and see the ruined and still think that it’s perfect. I am alone with many people around me. I am outgoing with many fears that could stop me. I am scared but with lots of courage inside of me. I am determined to find the life I deserve and I am willing to work my way through my garden. I will keep planting and keep nurturing the garden I live in to make it my own perfection.